Dating how tos

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If you can’t come up with anything interesting to say, trying breaking through your writer’s block by writing your message in a non-standard format. Good advice for life, but especially good for online dating.

When I’m stuck for the right words, for example, I’ll write in list-format (something I’m fond of doing in any writing situation, in fact). ’, point 2 would be a one-line introduction of yourself, including your name. The truth is, you’ll likely end up going on a lot of dates before you find someone who you’d want to take things to the next level with (if that is, indeed, what you are looking to do eventually).

Typing is fairly easy for people of our generation, and it doesn’t take much extra effort to look for typos (most modern browsers will underline incorrectly-spelled words automatically, and offer to change it to the correct spelling if you right-click the word), make sure that your message makes sense and change the ‘4’s to ‘for’s, ‘2’s to ‘too’s, etc. Who in their right mind honestly believes that this porno-inspired pick-up line will work?

As with any social environment, the first thing someone notices about you is what you can display from across the room.This means you have a lot of opportunities to shine, but also a whole lot of opportunities to foul up big time.Starting out, know what image you are trying to get across and what story you want to tell.Hopefully I don’t have to go any further with why this is the wrong approach because, damn, it’s REALLY the wrong approach. This is a rule that applies to interacting in person as well, but it’s especially important in the online dating scene because it can be hard to get people to reply to you (whether due to the massive amounts of mail they get everyday or simply because they don’t know how to respond to your list introduction [see Tip 6]).The far better tactic is to take it slow, like you would meeting someone in real life (generally, at least..maybe the person above is used to doing the same thing in person? Introduce yourself in a way that is clear enough that the other person isn’t freaked out or caught off guard, but intriguing enough that they want to write you back, find out more, and strike up a conversation. Asking a few intelligent, well thought out questions, however, gives them a reason to respond, while at the same time showing something about yourself (‘if he knows enough to ask about that, he must be an MGMT fan, too! Asking good questions can help you steer the conversation while at the same time allowing you to be an active listener; that is, you are totally focused on what the other person is saying, and therefore finding out exactly what you want to know about them (which is one of the benefits of online dating…if you find out they are a Neo-Nazi or infrequent bather or something like that, you can ease your way out of the conversation by not asking any more questions).

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